... since I've just discovered seconds ago what it is that happened. And get this because it's hilarious.
My brother went to a wedding today. Can't remember if I had mentioned that or not. So he and two of his friends were driving to the wedding together and one of them showed up here without a gift to bring. So my brother - genius that he is - says to his friend, "Hey, take a pumpkin!" And doesn't bother to ask me. Or anyone else. If that's okay. And his friend - being the kind of guy he is - doesn't think there's a damn thing wrong with taking a pumpkin. To a wedding. As his gift to the bride and groom... ... ... What? If anyone has ever wondered about my brother and his friends and just how stupid they are sometimes, this should give you some indication.
So I didn't even have to ask them. They walked in a few minutes ago and my brother said to me, "I took down that sign. That was really tacky." And I said, "Well, someone stole one of my pumpkins last night or this morning and I don't want them doing it again." And he was all, "Oh, no, we gave it as a wedding gift." And I was all, "What? You took my organic, heirloom, perfect french pumpkin? And you didn't even ask if you could? We thought it had been stolen. Do you even know how much an organic, heirloom pumpkin that size is worth retail? It probably weighed 30 pounds!" And they were very apologetic, though they did say it couldn't have been more than 15 pounds, to which I said bullshit. It was at least as big as the one you got at Walmart last year (or was it the year before?), Ilana. So. His friend has agreed to buy me several hundred pounds of cow manure at the hardware store tomorrow. Because I have a hard time getting it myself since it's only sold in 50 pound bags, and while I can lift and move them, I don't like to, so I'll let them do it. And that will repay me for this inconvenience.