Thursday, October 26, 2006

Miss Austin is right...

To paraphrase Miss Jane Austin (or at least the movie "Emma"): The most incomprehensible thing to some men are women who reject them.

A guy came to my door today. I wouldn't have probably opened the door except that he saw Maria inside sitting on the couch and she thought he looked like my next-door neighbor... which he did because I thought he was Bob (my next-door neighbor) until I opened the door. It was a guy trying to sell us magazines for a charity project his Mass Communications class is doing, said his name is Michael. Well, like all guys who sell magazines door-to-door ('cause these guys have done this to me before... the first time, I actually bought stuff, the second time, I probably would have bought stuff again, except my brother, Josh, heard the guy from inside the house and came outside and scared him away - my brother is often very useful this way... he hates people who sell things door-to-door and I think he was hung-over at the time too), he started flirting with me, but then (I can see in retrospect) he started getting a bit too forward, and I was... well, I was eating it up. Guys don't flirt with me often and when they do, I enjoy it, but it doesn't usually go any further. Kept saying I have beautiful eyes and such... So he asks if he can speak to me for a moment outside and Maria waited at the door, like the good friend she is...

Well, he flirted and flirted, laying it on *really* thick - a fact that Maria can testify to - I told him that he was making me a bit nervous (because he really was being quite aggressive in his flirtations, something I only realized in retrospect) and I told him I don't get attention from guys very often when he asked why I was nervous... So he asked me what I was doing tonight. I said I was busy cause I was... He asked about after that... Said I had class tomorrow. So he asked me about tomorrow and instantly after I had said, "nothing," (which is the truth) I wished I hadn't. He asked me to go out to dinner with him. He was really charming in that way that is hard to say no to. Well, I reluctantly said yes and he said he'd pick me up (!) at 6:30 tomorrow night... We're talking *this* after a *5 minute* conversation and I've never seen this guy before *ever.* Don't know a thing about him really other than he's a damn good salesman and should work in retail for a commission.

Well, he left right after that and I went inside, shell-shocked, and I was like, "What just happened?" Maria said (laughing her ass off), "I think he just asked you on a date and you said yes." Oh, not good... So after thinking about it for all of another 5 minutes, I decided, you know, I *really* don't want to go out with him, he made me *really* uncomfortable...

So Maria and I went outside, hoping to catch him between houses... It took a long time, so we walked up and down the street a few times to keep ourselves entertained and so I could think of how I was going to phrase this rejection. I wasn't opposed to maybe exchanging e-mail addresses and getting to know each other a bit that way before actually considering going to dinner.

So we caught him eventually and he said, "So are you following me?" in a somewhat aggressive tone, though I acted like he hadn't. (He asks me this on *my* street, when he doesn't live here.) And I said, "No, we're just walking down the street, but I *do* want to talk to you." He said okay and I said that I didn't think it was a good idea to go to dinner the next night, that I just wasn't comfortable with that. He said, "Because I make you nervous." And I said, "Yeah because you make me nervous, and I really don't think now is the right time for me to be getting involved with anyone, but-" (I was going to say that maybe we could exchange e-mails or something, but he cut me off.) He cut in with something to the effect of, "I try to offer you a great thing, you don't want it, fine, but if you don't get out there and take chances, you're not going to get anywhere, but fine, if you want hide, whatever." (all this he says after a *5* minute conversation!) And I tried to explain, to continue what I was going to say but he wouldn't let me get a *word* out. Just kept cutting me off, turned away, blowing me off... Whatever... And to make it even better, he said something under his breath (which may or may have not been "Bitch!") when he was about 15 feet away going up my neighbor's front walk.

Whatever, indeed. I think I dodged a bullet there. Maria was standing right next to me and thought it was messed up and that I shouldn't give him a second thought or feel bad about turning him down in the slightest. Laura hopes that he's not stalking me (and so do I!) and welcomed me to the club of girls we know who have been asked out by creepy guys. And Zinzi says even she wouldn't have gone out with him (then again, she gets her pick of doctors at the moment, so why would she?) because she knows better than to date pushy Italian guys from New York City (which is what he is). What think you?

So now I'm just worried because he left pissed and people are psycho these days and he knows where I live and what my car looks like. I've *demanded* that my dad keep the garage shut and not open like he likes to, and that the front gate (which looks like something that belongs on a castle's side of a moat) bolted all the time until we get window coverings up on the front window next to the door. I don't like the thought of people being able to tell that I'm home without me necessarily wanting them to... If the gate had been locked today or if we'd had the window covered, the door never would have gotten answered. And if I hear from him again with anything but an abject apology for his behavior, I *am* going to report him to the Dean on his college at school.


ilana said...

That's scary. A few years ago we had a similar experience: Mom and I were home by ourselves (Dad used to commute to DC, so he was never home during the day) and this guy came to the door saying exactly that -- doing this magazine thing for a class and how much going door-to-door helped his confidence, blah, blah, blah. He sure wasn't from around here! Naive thing that I was back then, I invited him in for tea. Mom descended like a hawk and threw him out. After discussing it, we decided it was probably a con.
I think you're definitely smart to take precautions; you might want to notify campus security, or at least check with them to see if anyone has reported anything suspicious, AND you might want to check with the police. Depending on how worried you are, they might ask you to come file a report, but it's up to you whether you feel your safety is threatened enough to do that. And you were DEFINITELY smart to not go to dinner with him! Mega gold star for you, dear!
Remember that Heifer thing I told you about? Turns out that it WAS legitimate, which we didn't find out until MUCH later. It appears to have been a case of the left hand not knowing what the right hand was doing, and the brain not knowing, either.
Anyway, keep me posted!

Rachael said...

Yeah, from what I understand the magazine thing is legit. I bought a subscription to Creative Photography from another guy several years ago. But still... this guy was creepy... Since I don't live on campus though there's not much that the campus police would do anyway. But I've got 3 good boys plus their dad living right next door (grown up with them and despite a tendency to drink too much with my brother, they're good boys), plus another neighbor, plus my dad at home that I can call anytime for help... plus the panic button on our alarm system which will have the police here in just a few minutes.

What exactly happened with that Heifer thing? Something with someone taking chicks or eggs or something?

ilana said...

Some college kid showed up at our door saying he was collecting eggs or canned goods which he would then give to the next house over in exchange for a monetary donation. This donation, he said, would then be turned over to the Heifer Project. Several things made me suspicious: 1. Why EGGS? 2. Why at 8:30 at night? 3. Why isn't there anything on the school website or Heifer website about this joint venture?
Well, mom called the school and got one of their spin-doctor people to tell her that Shepherd was PLANNING to do something like this, mom called Heifer and was told that they didn't know anything about it at the higher levels and that they don't send people door-to-door, mom got e-mail from Heifer saying pretty much the same thing, and eventually a phone call from the guy at the local branch office saying that yes, Shepherd and Heifer are doing something to raise money by getting the fraternities involved. So, it turned out THAT was legit.